|Dating Do's & Don'ts|
The 10 commandments of dating success No matter if you're an old hand or just reentering the dating scene, it can be intimidating – even downright frightening! Here are our 10 guidelines.
First of all, don't set your self up for disappointment over first impressions. Remember, ‘inner beauty’ is beauty with staying power. Don't get mesmerized by pretty packaging. Instead, look deeper within. The superficial beauty, with which we are easily impressed, gets old fast if there's no brain or heart beneath it.
If you never get out, your odds of meeting someone interesting is low. Join a health club, take a photography class or do some volunteering in your community. You'll meet new people who have similar interests, while getting fit, learning something new or helping out someone who needs it. And even if you don't meet a mate, you'll surely gain some new friends.
Most people meet their future mates through mutual friends. Let all your friends know you're looking. They may know someone perfect for you, but simply never thought about it before. Be clear about the qualities you're looking for in a potential mate. Ask them to include you on their guest list for dinners and parties, especially the ones outside of your usual crowd.
In a study on singles, 10% of all relationships met their mates on the job. According to another survey of professional women, age 21-45, a romantic relationship between coworkers was four times more likely to last than one between a couple who met elsewhere, and about 20% of workplace romances lead to a trip down the aisle.
Have you ever been to a party where you knew absolutely no one, but wound-up having a great time? It's probably because you left yourself open to conversation. A group huddled together talking amongst themselves is not very approachable. If you've ever traveled solo, you know that people are far more willing to come up and talk to someone who is alone. Try it. It works.
To better your odds of meeting someone put yourself where you're outnumbered by the sex you're seeking. If you’re hoping to meet single men, try sports activities and events. If you’re wondering where to find single women, try a dance class, pretty much any type of dance will do. This may sound like a blanket generalization, and it is, but the numbers don't lie.
It can be scary to initiate conversation, and the chance of being rejected is always present. But, if you take that chance, and you are rejected, it'll only be a little easier the next time, and you'll soon conquer your fear. Remember, everyone appreciates when someone sticks his or her neck out. (If they can't, they aren't worth getting to know.) After all, life is too short to sit out. Participate!
Spare your date; don't tell him or her your life ambitions, goals and plans for the future right off the bat. Save the serious stuff for when you have a good feel for the person. When you first meet, stay in the moment with what's going on and concentrate on being a good listener. Most of all, have fun! Note: This does not necessarily apply to online dating, where it's much easier to ask the personal questions, and sometimes, harder to get a good feel of someone without the face time.
When you meet someone special and the chemistry is magic, for goodness sakes, don't hesitate to ask for that person's number or email. Unless you know where you can find that person again, you've lost your chance. Don't play it cool, leaving it to chance with a see-you-around attitude. Be proactive!
10. Look Before You Leap
When you're head over heels for someone, you may not be thinking rationally. The fairy tale seems attainable. But, following your heart without bringing your head along spells trouble. Don't avoid those serious questions for after you've already committed. If your dream is to get married and have a family of kids and he feels marriage and kids are not for him, well you're most likely not a good match.